What Scientologist Actually Believe

The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.

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  1. About the Episode

    Trapped in the Closet Episode Air Date: When Stan is identified as the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, Scientologists converge on his front lawn and ask him to lead them. When Stan criticizes the acting skills of a prominent Hollywood actor, the actor locks himself in Stan's closet and refuses to come out.
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    Free Personality Test

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Stan's saving his money so he can buy a new bike. Luckily, the personality test Scientologists administer is free.
    41,290 views 00:02:43 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  3. play

    Fax These Results to Los Angeles

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Stan uses his bike money to get audited by the Scientologists. His E-Meter scores are higher than any the Scientologists have ever seen.
    20,846 views 00:02:11 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  4. play

    What Scientologist Actually Believe

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.
    466,678 views 00:02:59 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  5. play

    A Bike or Not Being Depressed

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Stan's mom notices something is wrong with Stan. When he tells them that he needs $240 not to be depressed, Stan's Dad says no.
    9,594 views 00:00:51 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  6. play

    OT 9

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Stan's off-the-charts thetin results are rushed to the head of Scientology, who immediately knows their cause: Stan is the second coming of the great leader.
    6,541 views 00:00:45 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  7. play

    Thank You For Returning

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    When Stan goes to take out the trash, he is greeted by throngs of Scientologists hoping to catch a glimpse of their prophet.
    4,428 views 00:01:40 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  8. play

    Tom Cruise Won't Come Out of The Closet

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Tom Cruise is seeking approval for his acting career. Stan doesn't tell him what he wants to hear.
    160,586 views 00:01:26 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  9. play

    R Kelly

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Tom Cruise refuses to come out of the closet, so the local news media turns to R. Kelly.
    39,003 views 00:00:57 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  10. play

    Tom, It's Nicole

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    With R. Kelly narrating the action from outside, Nicole Kidman steps in to try her hand at getting Tom Cruise out of the closet.
    9,338 views 00:00:50 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  11. play

    Stan Chooses Scientology

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    When Kyle tells Stan he thinks Scientology is wrong, Stan Chooses Scientology over their friendship.
    30,778 views 00:00:55 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  12. play

    John Travolta Feels Safe in the Closet

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    John Travolta tries to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet and winds up going in himself. R. Kelly sings about what's happening.
    33,399 views 00:01:12 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  13. play

    Scam on a Global Scale

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    When Stan tells the head Scientologist about his idea to make membership in the church free, the head Scientologist tells him Scientology's a Scam on a Global Scale.
    5,673 views 00:01:27 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  14. play

    R Kelly Sings with TC & JT

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    With Nicole Kidman and John Travolta having failed, it's time for R. Kelly shot.
    44,887 views 00:00:55 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist
  15. play

    Go Ahead, Sue Me!

    Season 9
    Trapped in the Closet
    Stan tells the truth about the scam behind Scientology. The Scientologists want to sue him.
    11,237 views 00:02:02 Tags Add to or Remove from Playlist