Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus

People from all over the world start to gather outside Jesus' house waiting for a millennium miracle. Not wanting to disappoint, Jesus puts on a New Year's Eve show, enlisting the help of a veteran rock 'n' roll star. Meanwhile, Cartman misinterprets the effects of a stomach virus as the beginning of puberty. Not wanting Cartman to beat him at anything, Stan resorts to taking hormones to jumpstart the changes in his own body. Unfortunately, the changes aren't exactly what he had in mind.

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