The Red Badge of Gayness

Episode 314 (Original Air Date: 1999-11-24)

South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.

Discuss This Episode!

Watch This Full Episode

Results

02:00

A Refueled Confederacy

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

Just as the Confederates are ready to head back, Cartman calls in another load of schnapps. They get drunk again and decide to keep fighting.

Tags: Ned, Jimbo, Garrison, Randy, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, grandpa, Jagerminz, Grab Ass, Kyle's dad, Kenny's Dad
00:53

The Confederate Demands

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

The Confederates get to DC and demand the Confederacy be declared its own nation. Clinton and Gore agree to speak with them.

Tags: Jimbo, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, grandpa, Washington D.C., Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Marisa Tomei
02:04

The War is Won

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

Stan and Kyle play along with the reenactment in order to stop the Confederates. Cartman realizes that slavery has been abolished, so he's off the hook.

Tags: Stan, Kyle, grandpa, Jimbo, Cartman, Jefferson Davis, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, Aliens, Jagerminz
00:58

The South Wins

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

The battle is redone, but this time, the Confederates take charge and wins.

Tags: grandpa, Randy, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Jimbo, The South, Re-enactment, Officer Barbrady
01:06

For the Confederacy

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

After being reprimanded for stealing the bell, Cartman stands up for his beliefs. He talks his side into changing the rules and actually win the battle.

Tags: Ned, Cartman, Garrison, Jimbo, Jagerminz, History
01:46

The National Guard

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

The Confederates go on a drunken rampage all the way to Tennessee, the National Guard is now involved, and Stan has a plan.

Tags: News 4, Jimbo, Tennessee, Stan, Kyle, grandpa, Randy, Kenny, National Guard, Courtney Love, Kyle's dad, Jagerminz
01:24

The Reenactment

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

The battle gets going and everyone's having a great time, until Cartman steals the bell in an attempt to rewrite history.

Tags: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, grandpa, Randy, Ned, Battle, Civil War Reenactment
01:16

Victory in Topeka

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

A drunken group of Confederates march to Topeka, Kansas and conquer it.

Tags: Randy, liquor store, Topeka, Kansas, Battle, Cartman, Jimbo, Kenny's Dad, Jagerminz
01:58

General Cartman Lee

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

Cartman shows up as General Lee for the reenactment, pissing off the other boys. They make a bet that if the South wins, the boys have to be Cartman's slave, and ...

Tags: Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Garrison, grandpa, Robert E. Lee, Civil War Reenactment, Jagerminz, Slavery
01:48

South Carolina Joins the Battle

Season 3: The Red Badge of Gayness (war)

The Confederates get stopped by the National Guard in South Carolina. A huge mob of locals join them in battle, and they take Fort Sumter.

Tags: Cartman, Jimbo, Stan, Kyle, grandpa, National Guard, South Carolina, Map, Fort Sumter, Jagerminz