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Afghani Goat
After the Boys send a dollar to needy children Afghanistan, they receive this cute little goat. But Afgani Goats cannot breathe the sweet air of freedom in America without choking, so the Boys go on a mission to return it to Afghanistan. The goat, however, is confused for Stevie Nicks, and becomes quite the star among the military.
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Archangel Michael
When the armies of Hell are approaching for an all-out attack, Archangel Michael recruits Kenny to defend Heaven using his holy PSP.
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Clyde Frog
Clyde Frog is the best stuffed animal Cartman has ever had. He's a loyal friend and a frequent tea party goer. Tragically in "Tonsil Trouble", crazed jew Kyle ripped off Clyde Frog's head after Cartman infected him with his AIDS.
But he has since resurfaced (in the background of "Dances With Smurfs"), patched up and back to normal!
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Crab People
The Crab People have been living in the Earths' crust for thousands of years, secretly planning and waiting for their opportunity to take over the world. The Crab People last tried to take over the world by posing as gay men in the hit TV series "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Their plan to turn the whole world meterosexual almost worked...but was thwarted at the last moment by the town's women. For more on this, watch "South Park Is Gay."
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Darth Chef
After his child-molesty stint with the Super Adventure Club, the boys try to rescue Chef from being brainwashed again. Unfortunately, his escape attempt results in Chef's brutal death.
However, all was not lost. The Super Adventure Club managed to salvage parts of his body and reconstruct him into this cybernetic monstrosity...who still really, really wants to molest children.
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Death
This is death. He's a pretty frequent visitor to South Park and he's always on Kenny's tail.
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Evil Stan Clone
This creature was made by Dr. Mephisto using Stan's DNA. He escapes the lab and destroys most of South Park leaving Stan with the blame.
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Fonics Monkey
To help Cartman win the school spelling bee, Cartman's Mom gives him this cute little Fonics Monkey. He plays a mini drums set, and occasionally, masturbates in public.
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Evil Towel
This new towel prototype is stronger and meaner than Towlie, and lacks his lust for marijuana. But in the end, his evil towel muscles are no match for the Boy's desire for their Okama Gamesphere.
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Fluffy
Fluffy is Cartman's pig. The boys experiment by getting her drunk and mating her with an elephant. Turns out, she's also been getting a little Garrison loving on the side...
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The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln
After the girls vote Kyle the ugliest boy in "The List" (1114), the ghost of Abraham Lincoln shows up to help teach Kyle a valuable lesson: attractive people lack character.
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Giant Douche & Turd Sandwich
When PETA comes to town protesting the school mascot, Mooey the Cow, the students are forced to hold a special election, and in turn, nominate these two brave new candidates: Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich. Kyle's squad is pro-"Giant Douche," while Cartman (and Butters) get hard behind "Turd Sandwich." Turns out, they are both really shitty choices.
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God
He is that holy little half-cat, half-hippo looking thing with crooked teeth in heaven. Jesus looks to him for guidance when he has his 2000th birthday and everyone is freaked out for the millenium. And even Satan has turned to him for some much needed answers in "Probably" (411).
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Goobacks
These future humans from the year 3045 time-travel back to present day in search of work. They are a yellowy light brownish whitish color, and speak a complete mix of English, Chinese, Turkish and indeed ALL world languages, which sounds something like this: Grawask awkawk kawwkwak...
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Guinea Saurus Rex
This horrific monster surfaces in "Pandemic II: The Startling". It's half guinea pig, half T-rex, and all vengeance. Just look at how it destroyed P.F. Chang's!
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Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Mr. Hankey comes out once a year and gives presents to all the little boys and girls who have fiber in their diets. He's also a good friend of Kyles.
He has an alcoholic wife named Autumn, and three little nuggets -- Cornwallis, Amber, and Simon. they all live happily in the sewers below South Park. Mr. Hankey is also the proud operator of the Poo Choo Train, and has helped the boys save Christmas on multiple occasions.
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Mr. Hat
Mr. Hat is Garrison's hand puppet that he uses to express his negative (and gay) feelings. Mr. Hat makes Mr. Garrison do terrible things like attempt to kill Kathie Lee Gifford and write gay novels about penises.
During the second season he was kidnapped and briefly replaced with Mr. Twig. He returned shortly after, and helped Garrison through many a life-change...including coming out of the closet. Garrison replaced Mr. Hat with Mr. Slave when he moved up to teach the boys in 4th grade (in "The Death Camp of Tolerance"), feeling that the boys were now "too old" for his puppet-in-crime.
However, Mr. Hat did make a big return in the "200"/"201" saga, helping Cartman find out the truth behind his real father.
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Ice Cream Crapping Taco
This shape-shifting alien's name is actually Najix, but his soothing pooping-taco form is more pleasing to the Boys. He works for Nerzod Productions, an intergalactic production company responsible for such hits as "Who Wants to Marry A Gelgamek?", "Get me Outta Here, I'm a Klignanian" and of course, "Earth".
